Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
