is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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