he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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