Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
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All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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