a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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