I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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