Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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