He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
