ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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