I want to make a zoo with you.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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