Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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