guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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