Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
