3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
