I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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