What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
