Is it normal to miss your booty call?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
