dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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