Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
