so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
