oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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