The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
