i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
