Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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