The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His nipple licking is glorious
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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