It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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