I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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