she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
