You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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