you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
