ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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