...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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