It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
