there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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