she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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