mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize