I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I want her autograph on my taint
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
