it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
