I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
