Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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