I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize