i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
