the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
