yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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