if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
