You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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