I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
