My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
