You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
