I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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