I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
