google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Houston, we have a blender
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
