Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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