you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
