I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
