She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
