it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
