If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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