About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
