i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.