u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
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when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
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I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.