Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.

(1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

no his phone, idiot.

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(321): Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot. (1-321): he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn. (321): no his phone, idiot. http://tfl.nu/beyf

Replies (43) Good night (9819) Bad night (1190)
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(512): View more from Texas

he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before

(806): View more from Texas

he probably also told you he thought u were pretty

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(512): he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before (806): he probably also told you he thought u were pretty http://tfl.nu/s8x5

Replies (22) Good night (1734) Bad night (6322)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.

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(519): I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/2sao

Replies (12) Good night (4613) Bad night (1186)
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(503): View more from Oregon

No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

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(503): No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ym74

Replies (7) Good night (7716) Bad night (989)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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(780): We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150. http://tfl.nu/ontt

Replies (20) Good night (2000) Bad night (2753)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?

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(802): Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin? http://tfl.nu/zb3y

Replies (20) Good night (3162) Bad night (1004)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.

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(+44): That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal. http://tfl.nu/r9bl

Replies (6) Good night (2823) Bad night (955)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone

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(641): Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone http://tfl.nu/y7a4

Replies (10) Good night (1589) Bad night (1052)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.

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(931): Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this. http://tfl.nu/inch

Replies (8) Good night (4402) Bad night (967)
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(309): View more from Illinois

she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.

(708): View more from Illinois

Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.

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(309): she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me. (708): Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you. http://tfl.nu/his2

Replies (3) Good night (2762) Bad night (644)
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(573): View more from Missouri

So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.

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(573): So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs. http://tfl.nu/477y

Replies (12) Good night (2698) Bad night (705)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.

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(306): I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/odbf

Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (584)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me

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(+44): They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me http://tfl.nu/sbg9

Replies (3) Good night (960) Bad night (475)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...

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(615): Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers... http://tfl.nu/ugq8

Replies (5) Good night (772) Bad night (439)
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(713): View more from Texas

Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks

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(713): Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks http://tfl.nu/eb46

Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (293)

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