Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
